As I spiral further and further into this funk, I decided to give Alex a shot. I sent him a text asking what he had going on, but he said he was spending the day with his son. He said he thought he could get back to Tomah around 6, and would let me know.
I had to work at 8 again. The shift went ok. We weren’t as busy, and yet less got done. But it went decent enough.
After work, I canceled on Alex. I told him I didn’t feel right about it. Given my feelings for Brad, and how I feel just knowing he’s on these sites looking, I couldn’t do that to him. He was very understanding.
I sent Brad a text saying I would like to see him but never heard anything from him. I took a nap from just before 4 until 7, then was back in bed before 9. At one point, I thought I heard his text tone, but I was just becoming delusional.