I got up at 6am to make the drive home from Daniel’s parents’ house. Once I got home, I booted the computer and got some coffee. I got parked on SL, then got on ArcheAge for a bit to catch up on neglected gardening.
Dave had to go to work, so I got to talk to Colin for a bit.
Eventually, the free book & paid emails arrived, so I handled those. Then a while after that, Daniel woke up and resumed arguing with me about how the night before had turned out. He was going back and forth on what he was saying, and eventually said he wanted me to mean that I wanted to be alone with him.
I wasn’t really up for any more gaming, so I pretty much just stared at the computer all day. Wanting to talk to him more, but not hearing anything.
Last night, some other girl tagged him in a post on Facebook, that she was hanging with “my goofball.” She’s only recently been added as a friend of his, and I instantly saw all kinds of red flags. I went off on him about it, but he refused to tell me what the hell was going on. Just that he’s done the swing thing before and wasn’t going to do it again. I asked him what it was he wanted, then, and if he really wanted to know what it was I wanted. I told him what I really wanted anyway — him and whatever he wanted. If he wanted to be swingers and only play together, fine. If he wanted open and poly, fine as long as he communicates. Otherwise, it’s cheating. If he wanted to see each other exclusively, I’d be happy with that, too. But that he needed to let me know.
I pondered that for a very long time. I ultimately decided that, given how much pain the Lifestyle has caused me, if I couldn’t make it work with Daniel in the Lifestyle, I was giving it up entirely. I told him that.
Finally, I thought it best to try and get some sleep. My meds were working, so I thought there was a chance.