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Saturday

Got up relatively early Saturday morning, and without an alarm! Grabbed my latte while the computer booted, then parked on SL.

Took care of my free book & paid emails as they came in, but otherwise just scrolled through Facebook for my entertainment.

Dave got home later in the morning and rushed to get things together to take Casey down to Illinois for the night, to visit Tom, Holly, and baby Ruthie. I’d be bored as fuck and lonely as hell, but there wasn’t much I could do about that.

A while after they left, I hopped on Conan to refresh the base before getting on DDO to deal with the Auction House stuff. Talked with Colin while taking care of that, but then he went back to bed. He doesn’t handle the summer heat too well, even though it’s only in the 70s.

Exchanged a few messages with Daniel, but not many. I did indicate, more than once, that I would like to spend some time with him and Michael, but he didn’t say anything about it either way until later in the evening, when he told me he had to go to his brother’s house to watch the kids all night.

I’d asked him earlier in the afternoon to name a movie I should watch, and he suggested Equilibrium. I went ahead and made dinner quick, then ate, before watching the movie. The very beginning was very dark, and I told him I didn’t know if I wanted to watch it alone, or without a stiff drink. I resolved to continue watching, at least until I heard from him. Next thing I know, I’d watched the whole thing. It was a really good movie! Just had a start to it that was disturbing.

After the movie I felt all mixed up emotionally. There’s just been too much on my mind lately, and it’s sucking the life out of me. On the one hand, the man I love finally admitted his feelings to me, added me on Facebook, and changed his relationship status. On the other, he only confessed his feelings under the influence of “truth serum,” hasn’t said it since, and won’t tell me directly that we’re definitely in a relationship. When I press him about it, he gets irritated. But that irritation just translates to wanting to “punish” me with BDSM, which I love. He still sucks with messaging me back a lot of the time, which also bugs the ever living daylights out of me.

He also did say later in the evening that he’d be “no good to you” right now because of his new meds, in relation to my state of arousal at the time of the message. I was frustrated with the way he worded it. I don’t *need* sex. Sure, I want it, all the time. But I don’t *need* it for he and I to be a thing. I do not want him to have that impression. I am quite content to stay up late watching Star Trek hand in hand as we start to doze off on the couch, before moving to his bed for him to hold me all night long. I am, however, concerned about the long-term effects of this medication, because he and I have been looking for other participants to add to our playtime in the bedroom, and there’s not a whole lot of point in doing that if he’s going to be unable to participate himself.

In the evening, Cyn and I tried getting on Portal Knights for a while. It was running fine for her at first, but then she ended up crashing. I got on BnS, hoping she’d follow suit, when she dropped a bombshell.

She had blood work done last week, and her platelets are high and something else was low, her mtc/mtv. The notes she read on the patient web site indicate it’s possible she either has anemia or cancer. She won’t find out until July 3rd. I would think further testing would be required. Anemia makes more sense, because she sleeps a lot. But, we’re both incredibly worried she may have cancer.

I quested a bit on BnS anyway, but then it was getting late and I was tired, so I headed to bed.

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