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Saturday

I got up and got some coffee while the computer booted, then took care of my free book & paid emails before getting on Black Desert on the Xbox to grind some more. I’d left it running combat training the night before, and my character was getting closer and closer to level 60.

I spent much of the day playing Black Desert until it was time to get ready for work.

I’d had salmon with some veggies the night before and there were leftovers, so I had it again. The night before, I’d ended up with a terrible stomach ache after eating, but thought nothing of it since it’s around that time I should be having sensitivities and anxiety anyway. The same thing happened after eating on Saturday, which concerned me since I had to go to work. The only thing I could think of that would be causing my upset stomach was the Himalayan salt I used on the veggies. Maybe I’m allergic to it. Friday was the first time I’d ever had it, and I had it again Saturday.

I got a call from a coworker to see if I could stay to close, but between my stomach and the fact that I accidentally took my medicine at 4 when I intended to put it in a pill bottle to take to work with me, I didn’t know if I would even make it in myself.

I did make it in, and let Justin know how I was doing but that I wanted to try and stick it out. I did end up making it through the shift.

On my break, I texted Brad to see how he was doing. I later got a text back from him that he was good and had been hanging out with his neighbors. I let him know I was off work at 10, and he said “Ok” and a while later “I’m here.” I didn’t want to assume “I’m here” meant “come on over” so I sent him a text when I got off work to ask if he wanted me there with him. I heard nothing back. I sent one a while later letting him know I’d dropped some things off at home and changed my shirt and was ready to head his way if he wanted me to. Nothing again. I waited a while later and made a statement about him maybe falling asleep on me. I waited a while again and still nothing. I sent another text saying I didn’t want to assume that “I’m here” was an invitation, and that I was still up. Nothing. As I was getting ready for bed, I sent yet another text saying I hoped he was sleeping well and that he’d need to clarify for me if it was intended as an invitation, so I know for the future.

For all I know my texts just aren’t working. I’d sent Cyn a text on Friday when I was feeling so stupid and like an ass, saying I was in a funk and why, and never got a response which I thought was odd. But having heard from Brad while I was at work makes me doubt that it’s a problem with my phone. It just makes me feel like an ass who’s being ignored by multiple people for whatever reason.

It’s just so frustrating, first the stupid stuff from Thursday and I heard nothing back from him until Saturday, and then when I do hear back from him it’s unclear if I should go over there or not and I hear nothing more from him. For all I know “I’m here” meant “I’m at my neighbor’s.”

He and I definitely need to have the long-overdue status update conversation. If he’s happy with where things are then fine, but I need him to communicate just a wee bit better for me. And I know I need to improve in some areas of communication as well, but we need to talk about where things stand and where we see things going. My big thing at this point is if I text him I want a response, even if it’s to say he’s not feeling sociable or wants to be left alone.

Anyway, I laid in bed awake for a while, holding onto hope that I would hear back from him, but eventually drifted off in the silence.

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