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Psycho

An update on things with Mandie…

She had a wedding reception on June 3rd, so I’ll begin just prior to that, on June 2nd.

Her cousins came to town and we all went out for a while that day, and everything was going okay, except that I was feeling like the 4th wheel. We went out to dinner, and afterwards my IBS started flaring, so I decided to cut the evening a little short.

The following night, Dave and I had just gotten to the reception hall, and I spotted her and her cousins rounding a corner. I tried to catch up, but she told me to go on to the reception, and pretty much let the elevator door close in my face.

That made me feel like she didn’t really care if I was there at all, so a couple hours later when Dave was ready to go I was happy to join him. Besides, I was exhausted from having gone to work and then all the running around to try and get ready for the reception.

I left her alone the rest of the weekend, thinking she probably wanted to spend it with her family.

That next Monday she asked me to go to the gym. (To fill in: I only wanted to join the gym because she and I were to go together, I had no other reason to go since I know how to walk and I have a bicycle and a bender ball. She said if I went she’d pay for my first two months, something she still hasn’t honored.) So I went, and she basically expressed how upset she was that I didn’t txt her at all the day of the reception and didn’t talk to her at all the rest of the weekend. As far as txting her on Friday I understood why she’d be upset so I apologized profusely. She said it’d take her a while, but she’d get over it.

She had asked me to go to Vegas with her in August, said she’d fly me out there and the only thing I’d need money for would be food or shopping. She knew we were having money troubles and just wanted a companion. I was so excited, and I had gotten the time off work approved. This will be brought back up shortly…

So one Thursday evening (June 16th) her and I had gone out shopping and later to see a friend, and I was driving my little blue car. The whole day I was having trouble getting my car in first and second gears, and I was frustrated. As we were trying to leave our friend’s house, my car just absolutely refused to go into either first or second gears. I tried to call Dave for help, since he’s a mechanic, and he blew me off. I was pissed! Well, I ended up driving my car in 3rd gear all the way back to her house, and by the time I got there to drop her off there was an awful sulfur smell coming from my car.

Mandie let me borrow her van since they were going out of town and she nor I felt safe with me driving my car anymore. I was so grateful, I continued to express that I couldn’t possible thank her enough. Dave and I had picked out a new car for me by the following Tuesday, a 2009 Ford Escape.

That Wednesday afternoon I got a txt from her asking if I wanted to go to the mall on Thursday. I told her I wouldn’t have time, because I was going to be working in the morning and spending the rest of the day making arrangements to pick up my car. Then she decided she wanted the van back first thing in the morning. I told her I couldn’t, because of having to work. So then she says to leave the keys in the mailbox.

I kinda had a field day between Dave and I, and also between me and Patrick (my bff) about her vagueness. Like, whose mailbox, hers or mine? Did she want the van at the same location as the mailbox? When exactly did she want this to occur? Wednesday night? Thursday morning? Thursday night? All she’s telling me is to leave the keys in the mailbox, no details.

Anyway, so Dave and I decided to drive the van back there that night, so I txted that to her. She said something about just do it in the morning. Umm, hello, do you really think I have time to get it to you in the morning? I have to leave for work at like 6am and exactly how am I supposed to get to work without your van? Walk? If I get it over with Wednesday night, then I can take Dave’s truck to work and he can drive my car (since HE has no problems getting it into first or second gears) and I’ll drop his truck off for him when I pick up my new car. Doing that exchange in the morning just doesn’t work for us. So, I txted that I was dropping it off that night.

I get there and peek in her garage, to see if they were home or not. I didn’t think they were getting in until Thursday morning. I saw Alex’s car, so then I proceeded up the stairs to the back door. I peeked in and saw someone sitting on the couch, so I tapped very lightly on the door. She comes to the door, opens it, snatches the keys, barely mumbles “thanks” and then slams the door in my face. I didn’t even have a chance to say thanks for letting me borrow your van, and she slams the door in my face?! Wtf?!

As we were on our way home, I was checking facebook, and see that there’s a status on hers “annoyed.” So I posted some status on mine to reflect my mood. That started an argument, and turns out that she had gotten a knee injury while in The Dells and it was painful for her to walk across the living room, that’s why she wanted me to just leave the keys in her mailbox. Thanks for telling me! I don’t live on facebook, so how the hell am I supposed to know??

I avoided speaking to her for about two weeks because of that incident and the argument that ensued.

She also had posted something on yahoo messenger and facebook about wanting to know who wanted to go to Vegas with her. She basically expected me to buy my own ticket at that point, and she knew I couldn’t afford it. And then she kept inviting me out, supposedly to talk about it. So then we finally get together again, to try and talk things out. Things were lukewarm from then on, and the Vegas conversation never took place.

I went to lunch with her last weekend, and she starts up this medication debate saying she doesn’t believe that ANYONE actually HAS to take medication. And about 5 minutes into this debate I tell her we clearly disagree on the subject and probably shouldn’t continue. She continued, and I voiced my opinions, something I rarely do. She’s the type of person that, if you don’t agree with her, she’ll keep on arguing until you either give in or shut up. Well, I wasn’t doing either. She ended up turning it into a thing about ME, that *I* don’t need medication, that if I just had someone I could talk to about my feelings I’d be ok. She said that I clearly can’t talk to Dave and that I have NOBODY that I CAN talk to. WTF? I can talk to my own husband any time I choose, and I have a BEST friend that I talk to about EVERYTHING. How dare she say that I don’t NEED medication and that I don’t have ANYBODY in my life that I can talk to?! She ended up leaving pissed off because I didn’t give in or shut up. Oh well, she started the debate and turned it on me, so it’s not MY fault!

So then we’re up to this past Thursday, when I tweeted about being depressed. She commented on facebook something to the effect of some people choose to be miserable instead of taking the risk to be happy. I responded something like “that’s a really SHITTY comment from someone who’s supposed to be my ‘best friend.'” She kept txting and yahooing me about it and trying to make it my fault that I was upset. Trying to excuse the comment. And reinforcing that she truly believes I am in control of my own moods.

If you really don’t know what it’s like living with bipolar disorder, don’t assume that anyone with the disorder can control how they feel. Sometimes, of course I am in complete control, sometimes not so much. And in this particular short bout with depression I was not in control of it. I didn’t choose it. Just like I wasn’t in control with it and damn sure didn’t choose it for the 5 years that I could barely get out of bed most days.

Last night she txted me asking if I was still going to some Scentsy thing she was having at her house. I said no, and told her I was angry with her and was avoiding her. That started the argument that resulted in a huge blowout and the facebook deletions yet again. I could feel my blood pressure going through the roof! I was in tears I was so upset that she had the audacity to try and make me feel like it was my own doing.

Then she txts me again today acting like I’m still supposed to go. Umm, no.

And there’s more than one reason I don’t want to go to her Scentsy thing… first, the above, also something else that pisses me off about her.

Back in February I let her borrow $50 because she didn’t have cash on her for a massage we got together. She never paid me back. She also around that timed owed me $10 for dog food I had to buy for her dog because she, for some reason, didn’t give me any when we watched her dog that time. Due to a blowout back then, I just said nevermind don’t worry about paying me back. Then she says she’ll pay for my first two months at the gym, and never follows through. She was the only reason I even joined! Then she also fabricated a Scentsy order for $70 that she almost placed and almost made me pay for, an order I never agreed to. Any time any money is involved with her, it’s nothing but trouble.

So, I don’t want to go to anything where she’s trying to sell anything, she’ll probably think I order something and owe her money.

She really sucks at communicating. I know that I blow things out of proportion sometimes, but not this bad. She is the ONLY person I have trouble getting along with. And I really could care less if I have any more communication with her in the future.

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