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Near constant contemplation…

It’s been a while but I guess I just now finally came up with something I thought anyone would care to read. I do miss the days of posting randomly throughout the day, and do that somewhat with Twitter… do my friends on here miss my more frequent posts, regardless of significance?

So, in reference to the subject…

I’ve been at Panera for 1 year and about 2 months now. It’s officially the longest job I’ve ever held. And I LOVE IT!!! I am so happy there! Even though many times I feel overworked and underpaid, I am still SOOO happy! I can’t imagine not being there now. And this is coming a long way from those 5 years of my life I couldn’t work because of my depression/bipolar, 5 years that I still can’t even remember. I told Jim (GM) a while back that I am interested in pursuing management, and that I realized there was already a wait list of sorts in our store so it may take a few years but that I was in it for the long haul.

So, the decision was made. I’d begin working towards a career in management at Panera. That’s it, right?

Nope. I’m still confused. I really do love working there. I can see myself being there for a LOOOOONNNNG time. But I am also realistic in that I could easily get a higher paying job in a more relaxed environment, such as an office. Working at Panera can be HARD work, especially working in Dining Room (my fave!) or closing cash registers. But, I have become family with my coworkers and customers. I have my bad days with coworkers sometimes, but at the end of the day, they are my family now! But, I wonder a LOT if I’d just be better off finding a higher paying office job.

What am I even thinking? Right now I should be thankful to just have a job, right? Well, the job market here isn’t quite as bad as other places… a job opened up at my Chiro’s office, and I could have probably gotten a job there if there’d been interest.

Another part of my confusion is whether or not we’d even be here long enough for me to get to management. We’re still in Illinois, and we bought a house back in February, but we haven’t made a firm decision on whether we were staying here much longer. We want to stay the 3 years that it takes to not have to repay the first time homebuyer’s tax credit. But, beyond that, we don’t know if we’re staying here. We both do miss North Carolina, and I’m sure I could easily transfer to the Panera there, but I don’t know if another Panera could ever be my *family* like this one.

And, all that aside, I do still have the dream of becoming a Psychologist, with a Ph.D. And, I am still actively working with Passion Parties and Avon, both of which I love and couldn’t imagine giving up. And I don’t want to forfeit my dream of becoming a Psychologist, either. So, at the end of the day, whether it’s short or long-term, I have a lot of confusion about my career goals, and have to come up with a new plan for achieving what hasn’t yet been achieved.

A lot to think about…

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