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Monday

Got up and got my latte while the computer booted, then got parked on SL while getting Casey up, dressed, and fed. Dropped him off at school about the usual time.

Heard from Daniel, as I knew I would, wanting to come over. I said yes, but reiterated that I was still mad at him for accusing me of being a liar. I was well aware of the decision I was making, and accepting of it.

After he left, I took care of my free book and paid emails before getting on ArcheAge for my morning gardening. Then I got ready to head to the store. Went to Aldi this time, to save on some money. It would involve cooking, but I enjoy cooking and haven’t done much in a long time.

Came home and got the groceries put away, and then sat down with some generic ham & cheese hot pockets.

Colin and I ended up getting on Fallout 76 for a little while on our new characters. In the short time we were on, we did manage to meet a guy who was helpful by allowing us to harvest from his crops. I couldn’t hear a word he was saying on voice, so I had him add me on Discord. Then I gave him Colin’s Discord information so he could add him as well, otherwise it might seem a bit odd.

Then I created a new character to play solo on. I already had one solo character, but it was a male and I didn’t actually want to play a male character. I could have left him, but since I’d spelled his name wrong and he was a low level dude I just deleted him. I created a new “badass” looking character. I wanted her to have somewhat of a “don’t mess with me” appearance because that would be the personality I aimed for.

I didn’t get to do much on her before it was time to go pick up Casey from school. Brought him home and had him get on the toilet while I took care of the dishes. Then I got back on the computer, to do some gardening on ArcheAge. After that, it was back to Fallout 76.

I made Spaghetti for dinner, and left the meat on the side so Dave could eat some if he wanted. Since he has claims that the taste and even smell of ground beef makes him nauseous.

After dinner, I got in the shower. I had to shave everything this time, so it took me a bit longer. I wanted to be done well before it was time for the reset raid. I messaged Daniel that I’d shaved for him and he should come thoroughly inspect it. He said he wasn’t doing well at the moment. I asked what was wrong, and he responded “everything.” Then I saw that he’d posted something, friends only for a change, about people committing suicide not because they want to end their lives, but because they want to end their pain. Though he’d told me before his thoughts tended to the opposite, I was still concerned about whether that post pertained to family, a friend, or himself.

I was worried sick, and even a little annoyed. Worried for the obvious reasons. Annoyed because he moved a couple months ago and I don’t know where his parents’ house is to have driven over there to find out what the heck was going on.

I sent him a few more messages, saying I was there for him, just to let me know if there was anything I could do. Unfortunately, they weren’t going through. I hoped it was because he was in a shitty service area, and not because he’d shut his phone off just before he planned to shut himself off. While watching for any incoming messages, I got laundry folded that had been in the dryer for a couple days. Then I got Casey’s stuff set out so he could get ready for bed.

Not hearing anything back, I got involved in the reset raid to take my mind off my worry. It was just as well, since I didn’t hear anything until after the raid was over and I’d gotten Casey tucked in. He was saying stuff about it being his own doing, that he’d established a trail of hurt and betrayal over years, causing others unneeded pain. That he wanted to be a good person. I tried reassuring him that he is a good person. I didn’t go on to say that he makes some fucked up choices sometimes, but that applies to most people anyway. Nobody’s perfect. I didn’t want him blaming himself for whatever was going on.

My messages were being delivered instantly again, and he was “seeing” them fairly quickly, but no longer responding. He’d also taken down the post from earlier. I didn’t know what to make of the situation.

I went ahead and did Halcy on ArcheAge, and then got back on Fallout. I worked on making a crapshack for my new shitkicker solo character, until I was ready for bed. I sent Daniel a message letting him know I was going to bed, just in case he’d try to reach me without a response.

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