So, I had to go through a lot of tests to find out what was wrong with me… at first I had an echocardiogram and a stress test, and the stress test came back abnormal, so then I had to have an angiogram and that came back completely normal. I was still having chest pains the following Monday, so I spoke with the nurse at my doctor’s office and she said they could get me in the next day, but I needed to go to the er because I was having symptoms. I argued that every test I had I was having symptoms during, but the nurse insisted I go to the er. As the day went on the chest pains got so much worse that I decided to go ahead and go to the er and they found that my heart is normal and my chest xray showed my lungs are in good condition as well. Everyone is in agreement at this point that all of my symptoms are coming from anxiety. It is likely that my anxiety medication is no longer working and so my doctor is changing me to another medication, and my work has agreed that I should probably wait until i’m on the new medication for a few days before trying to come back, because I have tried to go back to work and my symptoms were so bad that I couldn’t even make it through an hour. In the meantime, I also need to make sure that I can control the anxiety myself, because I really want to have a baby and this is going to be the hardest thing I will have to deal with while I’m pregnant. So, in the last few days that I have left before I go back to work I am going to take every step possible to learn to control my anxiety. Dave and I also joined the ymca, so I’m planning on going to some classes there as well as the exercise in general, so that I will be healthier in mind, body, and soul. I know that I am stronger than I give myself credit for, and I plan to find that strength so that I can get what I have always wanted, a baby. I am determined to learn to control my anxiety so that I will be happier, possibly not have to take medication for it anymore, and to be able to prepare myself to begin trying for a baby.
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