I slept in a little bit on Friday but felt like I could have used even more rest. I got up and got my latte while the computer booted, then took care of my free book & paid emails. I was sure to get my bag packed for the weekend. I was a mixture of excited and cautious, I was worried something would come up that would keep Daniel from going with me.
At first, it was really seeming like something was indeed going to come up. He had to go to Michael’s parent-teacher conference in the morning and said he’d have Michael afterward. But only for a little while. I had to go to La Crosse to pick up the diaphragm, and he asked if I could pick up his paycheck for him. I said I could, and then he said it’d gotten direct deposited but child support left him with very little money. He was frustrated and worried about that. I told him not to worry, that I had the weekend covered. And then he said that Leanne wanted him to keep Michael overnight, so at that point, I really thought he wasn’t going to come with. But he said Grandma and Grandpa would watch him. So, we managed to overcome all the obstacles that were trying to get in the way.
I left for La Crosse about an hour or so early and just hung around town waiting for my appointment. I stopped by O’Reilly Auto Parts for new wiper blades, since mine weren’t working very well at all. Then I went and hung out in the clinic’s parking lot until it was almost time to go in. I still had to wait in the waiting room for quite a while before the nurse came and gave me the diaphragm. I really don’t know why they had to schedule an appointment for it, but whatever. After that, I went to Walgreens to look around and kill some more time before going to pick him up. I got tired of waiting, so I started making my way his direction. I stopped at a gas station to fill up and then got the message that he was ready.
I picked him up and we hit the road. I already had my tunes playing and he sang along to most of the songs. I could listen to him sing forever, he has such an amazing voice! Eventually, songs came on that I sang along to as well, though quietly because he hasn’t heard me sing before.
When we were almost to Dubuque we both were finally hungry, so we stopped at Wendy’s and ate, then headed the rest of the way to Moline. We checked into the Motel 6 where I’d made a reservation.
I had arranged to meet up with an old friend from the area who was in the Lifestyle. He lived above a bar, so Daniel and I headed to the bar to meet up with him. We had a few drinks and talked. Daniel observed me and Todd catching up about Lifestyle stuff, and made a comment about me having a better connection with Todd than him, that he was jealous. He also said he has bunk beds and often thinks how much Casey and Michael would love sharing a room. And, he looked at me and told me he’s going to keep me. When it was around 11, we went back to Todd’s place for some fun. It didn’t go quite the way I expected, but it was still alright. All that mattered to me was that Daniel was there and I could touch him. And he told me he loves me. God, to hear those words.
Once we were done at Todd’s we headed back to the hotel and got into bed. Daniel fell asleep almost right away. I don’t think I was far behind. I didn’t sleep the best, but I was deliriously happy to be in his arms again while we slept.
Saturday morning, once we were awake, I took him to Village Inn for breakfast. It was so good, but I couldn’t finish my food. Once we were done, I drove him past my old house, then went to Panera to get a cup of coffee for the drive to Mandie’s.
On the drive to the Peoria area, I told him that we were going to Mandie’s housewarming party and that we used to date. He misunderstood what I said, thinking I used to date her husband and got so angry. Also, I’d said that I didn’t think he’d want to go with me to my best friend’s birthday and housewarming party, which also infuriated him. I got upset and had to pull over in a rest stop to calm down, and he wandered off into the woods to do the same. He’d said he was not comfortable with going there, to my ex’s house. He was worried he’d get up in the middle of the night and catch me with him. But then I cleared it up that I have no interest in Jason, that I used to date Mandie not him. He felt better and we made the rest of the drive to her house, stopping for gas once we were in the area.
He got a call from his mom saying that she’d been leaving to take Michael to Leanne’s and ran over one of his fucking dogs. He cried, I’d never seen him cry and my heart ached. He was so upset and angry. He composed himself quickly and was looking better by the time we got to Mandie’s.
Mandie is so blunt, which I usually love but sometimes get irritated with her for. On Saturday, I loved it. She asked, point-blank, what’s going on with me and Daniel. He said, “I think we determined that last night.” Meaning, he loves me, he’s going to keep me, and Michael and Casey will one day share a room with bunk beds. I was over the moon! He also admitted that he’s scared that when Dave leaves I’ll go with him. I got up from the chair I’d been sitting in, got face to face with him and told him I will never, ever leave him. I started crying. I’m so scared, that in a few days he’ll say it was all said “in the moment,” that he doesn’t love me, that there’s no “us” and never will be. I cried for a while but eventually calmed down and was able to enjoy the rest of the evening.
We went to the liquor store for more drinks, so we wouldn’t be drinking all their stuff all night, and I let him drive my car. I am always so scared to let other people drive my car, so that was a huge thing for me.
We kept socializing until about 11, when we were getting tired. We got the air mattress set up in the basement and crawled into bed together. He fell asleep quickly again, and I wasn’t far behind.
I had a dream, at least I’m pretty sure it was a dream, that we looked at each other and said, at the same time, “Marry me.” I don’t “need” that piece of paper to say he’s mine, but I would love to have it anyway.
Sunday morning we woke up in each other’s arms but were both pretty sore. We got some coffee and socialized a bit as people started waking up. When we finally got on the road, I let him drive again. It was much the same as the way down to Illinois, we spent the entire time jamming out while holding hands.
We stopped and ate at the Cracker Barrel in Davenport, then continued the drive. When we got close to Cashton, he took me to a lake he used to swim in when he was younger. We were both a little worked up, but he was still mad at his mom so understandably didn’t want to take me there.
He drove the rest of the way to his parents’ house and got his stuff out of my car. We kissed and told each other we loved each other before I got back into the driver’s seat to head home.
I had to stop for gas once I got back to Tomah, and then got home shortly after. I stopped in to see Casey right away. He was watching stuff on his tablet. I got my stuff unpacked while booting up the computer, then got in the shower. I was so happy but wanted to cry at the same time. I’m not sure whether they were tears of happiness or fear.
I got Casey’s bedtime stuff out and he slowly worked on getting ready for bed while I got on ArcheAge to deal with my gardening and excess labor.
Jennifer came over, which irritated me because that would mean Max was locked in the basement again when he had just been locked down there the night before.
I read to Casey from his Dog Man comic book, then tucked him in. I went back to the computer to work on the two days of free book & paid emails I had waiting for me. I had wanted to get on Fallout, but I couldn’t stay awake. When the emails were done, I shut down and went to bed.
