I’ll try and make this brief. 🙂
So my parents were originally going to try and make it for Casey’s birth, but mostly they just wanted to be there to help me out for the first couple weeks after Dave went back to work. Well, they ended up staying until he was 1 week old, and Dave hadn’t even gone back to work yet. Their last night here, I cooked dinner for them, and right after eating they pretty much bolted out the door. I was pretty irritated, it felt to me like they couldn’t wait to leave. They left early because they were so homesick and hadn’t slept well their entire trip. So I knew they were exhausted and not feeling their best. But, they should have considered that when planning their trip! They were supposed to be there to help me out when Dave went back to work, but they left before they even got the chance. They were gone by the time I needed them the most. I felt pretty abandoned… and helpless.
The Sunday after they left, Todd called Dave and asked if he and Ronda could watch Casey while we went out to eat. Although I wouldn’t let Ronda watch Casey if it meant saving my life, if Todd was going to be there with her it wasn’t so bad. He doesn’t drink much at all, so I felt I could trust him. So, we agreed, and we went out to Olive Garden. I was anxious while we were out, though! Since then, Ronda keeps offering to watch Casey if I need to go run errands, or if I just want a break. We haven’t explained to her yet that it’s NOT HAPPENING!
My parents were planning another trip to arrive the Sunday before Halloween and leave the Sunday after. Leading up to the trip, they kept asking if I still wanted them to come. It started to feel like they didn’t really want to come. Dave could sense my constant stress caused by my irritation at my parents, so he asked that I start telling them when something bothered me, because it was starting to create problems in our marriage. So, I started doing that. One day, they said something again about the trip and “if you still want us to come.” I sent a txt back saying “What the hell’s that supposed to mean, if I still want you to come? There’s no reason to be like that.” Well, my mom overreacted, then said maybe they should wait to come until we’re less stressed out. I said “Then don’t come EVER! Or you can act like adults and still come as you were invited.” Basically my way of saying “This is how ridiculous you’re being! Stop!” Of course she took it to the extreme. She said something about it making my dad so upset he vomited. Bull shit! You cannot tell me that made him so upset he got sick. If either of them really were that upset by it, it’s not MY fault. I told my dad on the phone that I was sick of hearing them question whether or not I wanted them to come, and that if they were going to wait until we were less stressed they would never come because we’re going to be stressed for a LONG time about one thing or another.
So, they came. It was surprisingly not as stressful as I thought it would be with them here. We ate and shopped a lot… took a road trip to Galena, IL even. Sure, things constantly irritated me, but I think it went better than expected.
Dave has joined the Army Reserves. If you forgot, or weren’t on my friends list back then, he was Active Duty Army when we met, and then he was in the Reserves for a year after he got out of active duty. He wanted to go back active duty, but they said he can’t. Basically, he was out for too long. He’s an E-5, but to go active they’d have to make him an E-4, and the time served would put him at the max for an E-4 and by the time he went through basic training he wouldn’t have enough time to make E-5 again before they’d have to kick him out anyway. So, at least with the Reserves we can (hopefully) still get the benefits. He also may have opportunities to either go full time in the reserves, or change his MOS and re-enlist with that MOS active duty and then keep his rank. So, we’re playing things by ear, and he’s going to try to see what he can do.