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At my wit's end...

Sunday at work was exasperating. I was pretty much immediately put on the register, and didn't really get a chance to get away from the till until the last hour or so, when I was given the task of thoroughly cleaning the entire coffee bar counter, including way back where it was hard to get to and therefore did not get cleaned often. Kwik Clean, as it's called, was going to be the following day so things that didn't normally get cleaned have been getting cleaned for the past week or so. I was so sore. Just, mentally and physically done. Not from the thorough cleaning task, but from having been at the register for most of my shift. Yet again.

On my way out, Sarah asked how I was doing. I was honest, and it escalated quickly. I was practically yelling at her. I told her how I'd gone in to give my 2-week notice a week or so prior, but Dari had said she'd talk to the others about getting me away from the register more. I told her how I feel as though I'm being discriminated against because of my disability. I added that everything they are trying to do to help me is only hurting me more. She said she asked Amanda when she got there if I'd been given much time away from the register and Amanda was like "well no, I put her on the register so I could hurry up and get things done." That's the problem!! That's the fucking problem RIGHT THERE! I want to be a part of the "hurry up and get things done" crowd. Not that I want *anyone* stuck at the till for their entire shift, unless that's where they want or need to be, but it's only fair that we share duties!!

Sarah said that HR had called my doctor to verify my last note about restricted work hours, and they were told that the letter could not be verified and that the previous letter on file prompted them to give me a weight restriction. I was fuming at that. Not that I want to be lifting extraordinarily heavy things, but these imposed restrictions would only cause more pain in the long run. I wouldn't be allowed to do things like lifting the banana boxes or move things around in the cooler. That would only give others a greater opening to stick me on the registers. And that is why they want me to fill out this workability form, even though it pertains to injuries, not disabilities.

Tonight at work, things went much better. When I first got there, I didn't really even check in with anybody. I just went off and started to "hurry up and get things done." But then, after about an hour, Brenda was like "well I want Hunter to do (such n such) because he wants to get away from the till, too." It's not that I "want" to get away from the register. It's that I *need* to. So then I was stuck at the register for 2 straight hours and then went on break while they covered the registers. Thankfully, when I got done with my break and Hunter with his, I was given the chance to escape the till again. And I was able to avoid getting stuck there again for the remainder of my shift.

Even now, as I sit here typing this up, I'm not as sore as I would be if I'd been at the register for the entire night. And I'm able to walk around relatively well.

A part of me is like "I'm not sure what to do." But I know what I need to do. And that is not to have their workability form filled out by my doctor, but instead to give my 2-week notice. However, if I could only stick it out until November, that is when we get our annual bonus. If I can't make it that long, then I forfeit my bonus. My estimated bonus is between $700 and $1200. That's a lot of money to lose. But, if things do not improve for the next couple of months, I take a risk with my health.

I suppose I'll try to get in to see my doctor as soon as possible anyway, get the stupid form filled out and detailed work restrictions/accommodations notated, and try and stick it out for as long as I can. I have loved working there up until the last several months when our new store leader took over. Apparently, when she took over she set higher expectations than our previous store leader had for us, and that is why so many are all about "hurrying up to get things done." I definitely can't say that makes her a bad store leader, but her expectations have resulted in my increased pain. I know that wasn't her intention, but it is what it is. And unless the others start to allow me time to get away from the register and "hurry up and get things done," I need to get out while the getting's good.

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