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Got to bed after posting last night. Slept ok. Didn’t nearly oversleep like I did yesterday lol. Got Casey up a bit earlier than usual, too. All in all, a good start to the day!

Had therapy at 9, we talked about quite a bit in that hour. The first half we went over a focal point of my goals. She asked if I wanted to work more on spending more time outside of my room, or meeting new people. I told her that I felt like it would be best to get used to getting out of my room before I start trying to make it out of the house to meet new people. So, we went over a technique to get me to spend more time out of my room, a baby step. She wants me to take 6 small stickers and place them in various places around the house, but not in my room. When I see the sticker, take a minute to observe what’s around me, and be able to describe my observations. Seems simple enough.

Then I talked with her about a bit of what’s gone on since my last appointment. We spent most of the second half discussing the simple fact that Dave and I are both polyamorous, but my insecurities make me jealous when he gets close to another woman.

I had about an hour after I got home before I was to expect Casey, and then we had some time before we had to leave for Onalaska for my follow-up with the knee doctor. We actually left early and went to Toys R Us first. The liquidation guy was there, but no closeout deals yet.

So… my follow-up with my MRI results. I have zero cartilage left on the inner right knee due to severe osteoarthritis. When I move, and especially when I put weight on it, it’s bone on bone. The doctor said that, if I were older, they would just replace it. But, since I’m so young, they can’t. It wouldn’t be as effective and it wouldn’t last very long. So, he asked me if living with the pain was an option. I said no, it’s not. And it isn’t. I can’t do anything with Casey in my present condition, I need a solution to the problem. I wouldn’t even be able to take him to the little park in our neighborhood, it’s too far of a walk.

So, the other option is, see a different doctor in the same office who can go in with a scope and check out the cartilage on the outer knee. If it’s suitable to move some of it, they could just do that, since the inner knee uses the cartilage more than the outer. If the cartilage on the outer knee is insufficient, they would have the option of drilling into the bone, to make it bleed, and let it scar, so that the scar tissue acts as cartilage.

Honestly, I don’t want to have surgery. And yet, I kinda am not surprised it’s come to this. I’ve been in near-constant pain since January 13th. Prior to that, I had pain on occasion in that spot, but it never persisted like this. I guess this time, the last of the cartilage finally got worn away. It seems I may be a bit beyond Glucosamine & Chondroitin.

The big thing I need to find out here is, what’s the recovery time like? Because, with Dave working full time and going to school part time, a lot falls on my shoulders. I need to be able to get back to things relatively quickly. It’s already not going to be until April 6th that I see this other doctor, who knows how long after that before I get fixed. And yet, it’s out of my hands. I either live like I am now, confined to a fucking chair in my room, or I have surgery. Sorry, I’m a bit bitter about this. It’s been over 2 months already and my patience with my knee is wearing thin.

So, we made the 45 minute trip back home, and I called my mom to talk to her about how the appointment went. She finally told me about the text she sent to Dave and his response, and that she thought it was about the most rude way he could have possibly responded. I can’t say I disagree, there. We spent a fair bit of time on the phone, more than usual, talking about a variety of things. She told me that she finally understands why, whenever I go visit, I stick to my room. Because it’s comfortable, it’s safe. It’s my zone. It’s difficult for me to leave my personal space and socialize, even with people I’ve known my whole life. Now I wish Dave would just understand, as well. And I’m working on it, but baby steps.

A little while after I got off the phone with her, it was time to make dinner. Pizza tonight. Casey got a whole pepperoni pizza to himself, while Dave and I got a mediterranean hummus pizza. Ours was vegan. Just vegetables and this “cheesy sprinkle.” I accidentally put… oh, idk, about 3 times the amount of salt in the cheesy sprinkle than I was supposed to and… yeah… kinda ruined the dish. It said 2 teaspoons, I put 2 tablespoons, but made a double batch. Yeah. It was pretty salty. I mean, my doctor tells me I should salt my food, but I’m sure she didn’t mean THAT much lol! Oh well.

Needless to say, after all that running around today, my knee is in a bad state.

So now Casey’s watching PJ Masks downstairs on Netflix and here I sit. I wanted to get my posting out of the way earlier so I can maybe enjoy some NCIS tonight before bed, without keeping myself up too late. Otherwise I’d just be sitting here scrolling through Facebook.

So, unless something happens tonight that warrants another post, I’ll talk to y’all tomorrow!

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