I had a rough start to my day. When I laid down to sleep last night I kept fantasizing about Nik telling me he loved me. That resulted in a dream, where the only part I remember is that he sent me a message to just leave him and his family alone. Waking up from this dream gave me the rough start. Idk, I guess that, compounded with all the other stress I’m dealing with, it was about my last straw. When it finally came time to lay Casey down for a nap, I was worried I wouldn’t have the patience for him. He fought it for a bit, and I kept my calm, thank God. Then, when he was finally ready to lay down and work on napping, something happened. I started to feel more at peace. I got this tingling feeling in my head, that I’ve gotten before when Dave was at his annual training and gone for 3 weeks. It’s a healing sort of feeling, in this case. Before trying to lay him down, my BFF was trying to call, and I didn’t think I was up for conversation. By the time Casey fell asleep, I had decided to go ahead and call him back anyway. Between that experience with Casey, and good conversation with Patrick, as well as cleaning up my twitter and my old FB feeds, and de-cluttering the kitchen, by the time dinner time rolled around, I was feeling 100% better. Honestly, I think Casey’s a healer. Any time I’m having a panic attack, my instinct is to not go to him because I worry the anxiety will make me sick, but then I go to him for whatever reason, and his hug has a healing effect. And all he was doing was looking at me with peaceful sleepy eyes, with his head laying on my arm. But it was enough. A healing energy passed from him to me, and it changed the way my day turned out. God, I love that little man!
Then this evening, Dave had put some popcorn in one of our bowls we just got. Glass or porcelain, whatever. Either way, a bit on the heavy side for a 2 year old to have to carry. He had just refilled the bowl, handed it to Casey, and Casey accidentally spilled it on the floor. Now, Casey has made messes on purpose, for which we do need to teach him that it’s not acceptable, but in this case it was an accident, and entirely Dave’s fault for handing him a too-heavy bowl. Well, once the popcorn was spilled, Dave fruited out on Casey, all but cussing at him, over the mess. For crying out fucking loud, it’s about the easiest damn mess to clean up, popcorn on a vinyl floor?! There was NO excuse for him to freak out on Casey like that. And poor Casey was so scared, he came running to me seeking comfort. This BS with Dave has GOT to stop. I realize he’s under just as much stress as me and Casey are, if not more, but damnit he needs to stop taking it out on us and being such a freaking jerk.
