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So, Monday afternoon I was supposed to have my MRI. I picked Ronda up. Her breath smelled like minty alcohol. It’d been a while since I’d smelled anything on her breath, I was beginning to think maybe we could trust her to watch Casey alone. I guess not.

I didn’t make it through the MRI. I’d never been in a machine that small, it gave me too much anxiety. I rescheduled for an Open MRI for Wednesday.

Tuesday first thing I had my appointment to discuss my wrists. Surgery on the right is set for next Friday, then 2 weeks later the left wrist will get fixed. I’ll have to see if Ronda can help me out with dishes and diapers, because I have to keep my wrist clean & dry for the 2 week recovery time.

Before bed I asked Dave if he’d be able to get home early enough (by 4:30) to watch Casey while I went for my MRI at 5. He said he’d try. He didn’t get out of bed until after 7, after the alarm went off for over 2 hours. I asked if he needed me to have his mom go with, he said yes.

I sent her a txt asking if she could go with me, and she sent me one back saying that she could, but then a while later sent me another one saying she had to take her mom to an appointment in the afternoon, and that she would come to our house to watch Casey while I went to my appointment, that she didn’t think it was necessary for them to go with me. I told her that I needed her to go with, but if she couldn’t I’d just take him. She said she’d go with.

A while later I got a call from Dave. Apparently she sent him a txt asking why she couldn’t just watch him while I went by myself, and he told her that it was because I (not WE) don’t trust her due to her drinking. He actually said that he thinks we should give her a chance! Absolutely not, no way no how! I can’t believe he would trust my child with an alcoholic! And it’s not like we can say anything to her, she’ll just lie about it! We argued about it, and he said we’d just need to sit down with her and her husband and he’d stand behind me whatever I say. It’s HIS mother though, why should *I* have to say anything? He was the first one to ever say she’d never watch him, and now he thinks we should let her, and he thinks that *I* need to tell her she can’t! I can’t even stand to argue about this any longer.

So I was already anxious when I went to pick her up. That right there, my anxiety, was the other half of the reason I needed her to go with me. If I go into a panic attack, I get VERY drowsy afterward, and I don’t feel comfortable driving afterward. I made it through the whole test, but after I was very dizzy and Ronda ended up having to drive me home after all.

I’ve been having dizziness ever since and it’s starting to get really old.

Yesterday I was to cook an entire Thanksgiving meal by myself for just me and Dave. I’ve cooked a turkey before, twice now actually. That part I’m comfortable with. But to do it all (aside from the squash Dave made)? I got up early and started baking cookies at 9am, got the Turkey in by 11:30, got potatoes in by 1:30, and we ate about 4:30. It turned out pretty good!

A couple hours before we ate, Dave was watching Casey, and he went and set him down in his glider, while he was already fussing, and then went to take a shower. Never even said a thing to me! Casey started pitching a fit, so I had to go get him, while still trying to clean some things up and cook a huge meal for us. I was furious! I even tweeted about it, but I later deleted it. When he saw the tweet he got defensive, I told him he was acting like a deadbeat, I was sick of trying to get him to take care of his own son, and he told me if I had such a problem with it I should pack my bags next week. WOW! I tweeted that part also, but later deleted it as well. After a while we were able to calmly discuss a few things, I apologized for calling him a deadbeat, and we’ll keep trying to work on things.

I am sick of the attitude I get from him when I ask him to do things for Casey. It’s not all the time, but it’s enough. Almost daily. Sometimes little things, sometimes not so little. One night I asked him to feed him a bottle that was only 1oz and he got an attitude because he had other things he wanted to do. It’s like he is more than happy to care for Casey on his own terms. He doesn’t understand that sometimes we don’t get to do what we want, it’s all on Casey’s terms now.

On relactation, things are still going pretty good. I haven’t used the shield in a few days, he’s latching pretty good. I have no idea how much milk he’s getting, and he’s lost approximately half a pound when he should have gained between half to a whole pound. I may need to get him up at a certain time and put him on a feeding schedule to make sure he’s getting enough. It seems like by the time I get to start a 4oz bottle it’s been 4 hours since he started the last one, and with him sleeping through the night now that’s not enough food, unless he’s getting at least half that much from my breasts at each feeding also. He still dozes a lot at the breast and flattens my nipple, but the pain is not as bad anymore. He was fidgeting a lot at the nipple so I gave each breast a squeeze and they actually squirted. They only did that a few days after birth and then the whole ER incident happened.

I am thinking of going to a La Leche League meeting on Monday, and I registered for a breastfeeding class for Wedneday, and I’m still planning to see about a lactation consultant. Things seem to be looking up and I’d like it to stay that way. 🙂

I think that’s about it for this time around, I don’t think I forgot anything…

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