Alright I hope this won’t be TOO long!
Last time I posted I had just gotten my new pump.
That next day I went to a meeting of the La Leche League. Their IL side meetings have been dwindling, I guess, and so I ended up being the ONLY person there besides the 2 leaders! But, that turned out to be EXACTLY what I needed! They were so helpful and encouraging, and the whole evening really made me happy and gave me a lot of hope!
That Wednesday I went to a breastfeeding class. I was the ONLY person there who had already given birth, and Casey was the only baby there NOT in a belly. The class itself was great and very informative. Afterwards I spoke with the Lactation Consultant who led the class, and she basically had the attitude with me that I’ll never produce more milk than what I am currently producing, that the only thing he’d get out of nursing at this point is comfort and maybe a few drops. It was very discouraging! Afterwards I wondered if the ladies at the La Leche meeting felt the same way, but were just trying to be nice?
I had my Carpal Tunnel surgery that Friday. Needless to say, I had trouble pumping because I was just SO tired and in quite a bit of pain! From then on I was pumping just a few times a day. The pump seemed to work OK, although it was an el-cheapo “val-u” brand. At least I had a better one than my manual!
I found out that the Tylenol 3 is dangerous for babies, so I couldn’t give him any of my milk until at least this Saturday. And instead I just pumped and dumped and drank a bit of wine. Eh. Then yesterday I pumped ALL DAY, every 1-2 hours. And last night, my pump DIED.
I’m seriously considering giving up on trying to relactate. I can’t afford to even rent a pump. By the time I get this warrantied for a new one, I’ll probably be back down to just drops at a time. I can’t manual pump until at least a week after my next Carpal Tunnel surgery, scheduled for this Friday, because it hurts too much on either hand right now. And it’s just more stress than it’s worth! He’s up to 6 oz and due for another growth spurt very soon. How can I go from 1 oz a day to 30 oz a day?
Mandie posted on her Facebook that she has a pump, double electric, she’s trying to give away for free. I posted a comment that I was interested, and this is what I got in return. (Click the word “this” to read the conversation.)
She’s been bothering me lately for a couple reasons. First of all, she knows about my efforts at relactation, and still constantly asks me to go out and do things with her that would take too much time when I really need to only be having half an hour free at any time because the rest of the time I need to be nursing, feeding bottles, or pumping. And typically during those 30 minutes of free time I really am not free because there’s plenty of stuff that needs to get done around the house! Secondly, the things she asks me to go out and do all involve spending money that I don’t have. And when I say something about it, she gets all bent out of shape like she’s doing me a favor to invite me but really it just stresses me out more and I wish she’d just stop! It’s a constant reminder that I can’t afford to go OUT and have fun! And one time she even said something to me about there being no point to go out if I had to be back in time to feed Casey, that it would just be a waste of time! Thanks for making me feel like relactation = no life! I can still have a life!
I’ve also been getting depressed lately. ‘Tis the season, really. Statistically people are more depressed around this time of year, because the days are shorter so the sun is out less. The sun makes people happy. On top of that, I’ve been stressed out about money, about the challenges of relactation, and in pain from my health ailments, so for me it’s been especially difficult. And Dave and I have been arguing a lot lately as well, and haven’t really been spending a lot of “quality” time together (ya know what I mean?) since this time LAST YEAR! There’s just been TOO MUCH! I need a BREAK. I need to RELAX (not that I know how!). I just need all this stress to STOP! I definitely DON’T need her attacking me this morning!
I guess that’s pretty much it. I also posted here if you have a chance to read that also.
And I think that’s pretty much all for right now…