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So, of course, it’s been a while since I’ve updated. I kick myself for that, really I do.

First and foremost, after nearly 13 years with our sweet Dinia, she has passed away. She was the best black kitty I could have ever asked for, and I miss her a lot. But, she’s with her sister Josie now, and they can finally snuggle together again. They used to do that a lot. It was funny, really, because there were times they acted like they didn’t like each other, but then they’d snuggle up for naps together. Hehe sibling rivalry I guess. So, I’m sad to have lost her, but glad they can finally be together again. We got her cremated and the place actually did it for free as a military discount. That was unexpected and awesome! They had initially said it was some percentage off, I don’t recall, but then when Dave went to pick up the ashes, they told him we now had a credit on our account because they did the cremation for free. So, awesome.

We finally sold our house, and closed on it about a month ago now. It’s a very bittersweet thing, and I’m not really sure I need to explain any more than that. The financial burden is gone, though we now have to recover from the $5,000 we had to shell out to get rid of it. But, it was our first house, and despite the problems with it, we did like it and could have seen ourselves staying there for a long long time, if we just had the money to fix it up good… things like getting working A/C in the dormers upstairs. But, all done now… so… yeah, bittersweet.

Casey started speech therapy a couple months ago now, and we’re seeing improvements at home already. He’s getting a lot more vocal, trying out new sounds, saying new words… so, I’m excited to see how his progress continues.

I still haven’t found a new doctor for sleeping pills. Still dealing with some bad insomnia. I go through phases of drinking or not drinking, so Dave doesn’t say much. I think he likes to see that I take breaks from it. He doesn’t mind if I drink a bit as long as it’s not excessive and every night. I get that. I didn’t rather like it myself. So I’m happy about that, but still need to get into a doctor. I actually need to get back on anxiety medicine anyway. Lately there’ve been several times I’ve just randomly went into a panic attack. And I hate them. Mine are especially… ick. When I’m having a panic attack, I go through extreme nausea. I hate it. So, since it’s happening a lot, I need to get back on meds.

I had undergone a partial root canal on that one tooth. When I finally went back to get the rest taken care of, he still couldn’t finish. He said he’d gotten all the nerve and was just cleaning it out, but then I got hit with major anxiety and tried to fly out of the chair. So, he said it would probably be best to just get it extracted. So, I did. Finally, a little over a week ago. I went yesterday to get another filling in a tooth on the other side, and got the impressions done for my mouth guard. I should be able to pick it up no later than next Wednesday. I can’t wait! In the meantime, yesterday I started wearing my old orthodontic retainer again. My teeth have definitely shifted some since I’d worn it before, back when I wore it every night like a good girl. It still fits, though, not too uncomfortable, so I’m going to try wearing it more to see if my teeth will shift back. Once I get the mouth guard, I’ll wear it damn near 24/7 until I notice relief, then start alternating between the mouth guard and the retainer. The mouth guard impression is based on where my teeth are right now, where my retainer impression was done right after getting my braces taken off. So, that’s why I’ll alternate. The insurance will pay for a new mouth guard once a year anyway, so may as well see if I can get my teeth to shift back where they should be, post ortho. My parents spent a good bit of money for me to get braces anyway, I would rather make sure my teeth stay somewhat how they are supposed to be.

Dave and I had gotten back into the open marriage thing… but then my jealousy struck again and I called it all off again. After a week or so, he said that one girl had texted him and he wanted to know if it was ok to text her back. This particular girl had come over one evening and had dinner with us and hung out for hours before they went to the bedroom. She was nice, and if she was bi I’d totally go for it. A bit heavier, not my normal type, but cute. So I told him he could text with her. I later found out he actually had initiated the conversation, but whatever. She was nice, and cute, and she’s respectful of our marriage. So all’s well. But, up until a few days ago when I got angry again, I had seen he was still texting the others too. I told him it was ok for him to text the one that I met, and that he could text the one who lives in Virginia, but no one else. I just checked and he seems to be behaving. Now, don’t get me wrong, I miss talking to the guys I’d been talking to, but I need to work out my jealousy issues.

I’ve been getting on Second Life a LOT. I love it. I used to use IMVU but SL is so much better. And there’s a mobile app that allows me to do just about everything I can do on the computer, so that’s convenient. I still prefer the computer, but I also like being able to take it everywhere with me. And, since the profiles even differentiate between “First Life” and “Second Life” I decided to let my avatar be single. Well, I met a guy in a club there one night, thought he (his avatar) was pretty hot, so sent him a random friend request. Starting the next day, May 1st, we have been in a relationship. We got “Partnered” on SL, which basically means married. Just so long as the line stays drawn, between First and Second life. I’m having a blast with it. I’m such a geek. But, maybe through this role-play romance I can work out my jealousy issues so I can go back to what I wanted in real life. I was the one pushing for an open relationship since the relationship began, so I do really want to figure out how to get over the jealousy so I can go back to doing what I wanted to do.

My parents arrived in town a few days ago… so I’ve been dealing with their usual BS. It’s annoying, frustrating, and there’s quite frankly only so much I can take. Like tonight, my mom took over washing dishes… one was the bowl Dave had used for his oatmeal. It always has to soak for a couple hours before we put it in the dishwasher, because of the dried left over oats and whatnot. So, she had washed it, and I could still see damn dried crap on it. Don’t wash my dishes… argh. I know she was just trying to be helpful… but damnit, she’s about as OCD as I am so she oughtta understand. After that, she wanted to give Casey a bath… and I was just ready for them to be gone… well, Casey conveniently didn’t want a bath, so I considered that a score, because that would mean they wouldn’t *have* to stay later. She had to do laundry at our house because the wash machine in the RV isn’t working, so it was just a matter of her finishing that. Well, my dad was checking the weather on his phone, cuz it was getting kinda dark out, and saw rain nearly to us, so they packed up and headed back to the RV for the night. I was relieved, and I didn’t even bother to tell them it probably wouldn’t even rain. My dad’s birthday is in a couple days, and we were supposed to have a family portrait done. My brother was supposed to drive down from Dallas, my mom had bought shirts for everyone (but me, cuz she knew I’d rather pick my own out), and then they get here and see the forecast for rain almost the entire time. Well, the forecasts around here are almost never right, and I keep telling her that, all the damn time… but, she cancelled the photo session anyway, due to rain. Didn’t try to figure out where we could move it indoors, didn’t wait until just a day or two before, but jumped the gun and cancelled it just because she saw the forecast. And my brother now isn’t coming down because of the rain, he doesn’t want to drive 4 hours in rain. I get that, I wouldn’t either if it was any random trip. But this is my dad’s 60th birthday party, and he’s bailing because of rain that may not even come. This family I was adopted into? I just don’t get. I don’t want to get. I just want to figure out how to enjoy my time with them, and not be so agitated when they’re here.

*relieved sigh* I feel so much better getting that out. It’s not necessarily a complete update, but it’s what I need for now… honestly I need to post more, it’s very therapeutic.

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