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Thursday & Friday

Thursday morning, woke up in Daniel’s arms and didn’t want to leave that place. Well, I think I slept a bit throughout the night anyway, lol. But still, I did not want to leave that place!! It was amazing. I could do that every night, hopefully sleeping sometimes. Had a bit of naughty time and then we both got dressed, he had to head to work and I had to head home to get Casey ready for school.

Got home and got my latte and restarted the computer to park on SL, but had some sinus drainage that gave me a bit of an upset stomach, which led to a panic attack. I fought it as best as I could, but had to take Xanax twice. Managed to get Casey to school, and somewhere during the course of the morning I managed to also finish the latte.

During all the anxiety, after getting home from dropping Casey off, I started doing some chores. I cleaned the bathroom, put towels in the washer, and worked on some dishes.

Once those things were done and I felt calm, I crashed. I was only asleep about 30 minutes to an hour when my phone rang. It was my mom, to let me know that my Grandma has fallen twice in the past week and was being taken to the hospital for testing. Her and my Uncle are talking about keeping her at the nursing home, and I think that would be best. My Grandma’s in her 90’s and her Congestive Heart Failure is getting worse, and will continue to do so. It would be best. Thankfully, the news of her falls and going to the hospital did not trigger another panic attack.

Colin was up, so we talked for a couple hours, but I was getting super tired and he was going out for dinner with his family. So, we didn’t stay on any longer than that. I laid back down once we got off the call, and didn’t get up until my alarm went off at 1:45.

Got back up and headed to the school to pick Casey up. He looked devastated when he walked out to me, so I asked what was wrong. They’d gone to the pool in the morning to celebrate the end of the year, and he’d been told he couldn’t wear his floaties. I thought that was absolutely ridiculous, that a child cannot wear floaties if they do not know how to swim. I emailed Ms. Conner from the car before we even left the parking lot.

Heard from Ms. Conner by the time we got home, she said that a lot of kids were wearing floaties and that he lifeguards came by telling everyone they had to take them off. That’s just bullshit. But, I remember, years ago, taking Casey to a pool and they had some stupid rule about any flotation devices having to be styrofoam, so I told his teacher that I suspected that was the case, but that the school should have been informed beforehand so that the parents would have time to shop for alternatives.

Casey did his thing on the toilet before getting on Minecraft. I just kinda lazed around, scrolling through Facebook until it was time to get him ready for bed. Then I got him tucked in, and headed to bed myself.

This morning, got up and got my latte, then got parked on SL while getting Casey up, dressed, and fed. Dropped him off at school, then headed back home and got on Portal Knights on my alt for a bit. Had a couple hours to play around on there until it was time to go to Therapy.

Therapy went well, I told her about when Dave had gone off on me about our finances, blaming me for the state they are in, while I was having a panic attack. Then I told her about the night spent in Daniel’s arms and how happy it made me.

She wanted to talk to me about Willingness this session, and we went over that for quite a while. Basically, that every feeling I have, I have a choice, to be aware and choose to stay in the feeling, or to avoid it. I don’t quite follow, but my homework is something to do with it so I better figure it out.

Came back home and just kinda hung around for a while. I got some lunch and got the dishes done, and could have gotten back on Portal Knights but didn’t really feel like it. Talked to Colin some more while waiting for time to go get Casey.

Daniel was at parent pickup as well, and parked right in front of me. He got out of his car, so I quickly let Colin go. I invited Daniel to sit in my car by me, but he said he felt like he needed to move around more after getting nearly 12 hours sleep the night before after work. I can understand that. I got out of my car so we could talk while waiting for the bell, considering I’d just gotten off the call with Colin to talk to Daniel anyway.

Earlier, via Facebook message, I’d offered to watch Michael over the summer if he ever needed it. He brought that up, basically saying how helpful it would be and that they (he and Leanne) would pay me too. He said his mom was in the hospital, her pancreas had gotten extremely inflamed. Hopefully she feels better soon!

The bell rang and Casey came out so we asked where Michael was and Casey said that Ms. Conner had said he had to get on the bus because she hadn’t gotten a note from the office saying that he was being picked up. So Daniel had to rush to get him off the bus. He said he’d called the school half an hour before to let them know, guess word doesn’t travel very fast around there.

We headed back home and Casey got on the toilet to do his thing, before getting on Minecraft. I scrolled through Facebook for a bit before going to cook dinner.

It was Home Chef, some Chicken Kiev, but I didn’t take any pictures. I was too hungry by the time it was done and I’d left my phone in my room. It was good, though.

After dinner, I got back on Portal Knights. Dave was out mowing the lawn, so eventually Casey went out to help and then they played for a while. When they came back in, Dave asked Casey if he liked getting muddy, and Casey said no. C’mon Dave, he’s 6, certainly you know this about our son by now? Well, somehow Dave talked Casey into going to this Mud Assault Run tomorrow morning, that he could see if he wanted to participate once we got there. There goes some first day of summer relaxation time! And I’d have to go with to watch Casey. As if we were some sort of happy fucking family.

I started farming the Worm boss on Portal Knights for XP. It was fairly easy if you know the mechanics, and gave quite a chunk of XP for only a few minutes work. I told Cyn what I was doing, so she tried to get on to join me. But then she complained that her mouse hadn’t been working right all day, that it was laggy. I asked if she’d tried restarting her computer, and also asked if the mouse was battery operated, suggesting she change the batteries if it is. She said she’d changed the batteries but hadn’t tried restarting her computer. She went to do that, then her fan started making a lot of noise again. She eventually said she didn’t think she should try to play Portal Knights anymore, because it was causing harm to her computer that no other game does. I don’t think that Portal Knights is causing her fan to act up, I think it’s just a coincidence. But whatever. I kept farming the Worm for a while, then logged out of it.

Earlier this afternoon, before picking up the boys, when I’d told Daniel that I wouldn’t mind watching Michael, and he’d said they’d pay me, I joked that 25-50% could be sexual favors, and then said that I’d take all the sexual favors I could get. He said “Calm down killer” so I said “Yes sir.” He said that’s Senpai not Sir. Didn’t know what it meant, he said basically master. So I said that was exciting, that it felt like I got a promotion lol. A while later I sent him, in french, a message saying “Master, tell me your desires. Your wish is my command.” He’s seen it but not responded, so I’m guessing he hasn’t bothered translating it. Either that, or his mom’s really bad and he’s more focused on that. Can’t be sure until I hear something from him.

While Casey was getting ready for bed, Dave came in my room and asked, in a negative tone, if I was going with to the Mud Assault Run tomorrow to watch Casey while he ran. I retorted that I didn’t really have much choice. He made out like I didn’t want to spend time outdoors with my son. That’s bullshit, but whatever. I want to spend time outdoors with my son, just not with his father present if I can avoid it. I hate putting up this false pretense like we’re some sort of happy family when we’re anything but.

Got Casey snuggled into bed. Dave tried to suggest he have a slumber party with me tonight, but I’m not in the mood. I’m probably going to be stuck having them quite a bit over the summer, I’d rather not start tonight. Thankfully, Casey didn’t take it seriously and I was able to get him tucked into his own bed.

Dave bitched about me leaving all the lights on last night when I went to bed. I didn’t respond at first, but then as I was headed back to my room after tucking Casey in I told him I’d gone to bed before him. He snapped back with something about not having told him. Well, asshole, it’s not something I’m required to tell you anymore.

Anyway, after that I started watching a couple episodes of NCIS: New Orleans before heading to bed.

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