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The calm before the storm…

I titled my entry that way because we’re preparing for a winter storm that arrives this afternoon. 🙂

So much has happened since I last posted…

I created a new Facebook account because the other one could easily be accessed by the url for it, and having an obsessed internet stalker who has at least 3 Facebook accounts, at least 3 Twitter accounts just to follow me, an account on Foursquare just to follow me, and at least one alternate alias just to contact me as, I need to protect myself and Facebook doesn’t allow you to change the URL (ie nickname) so I had to create a new account. Unfortunately I was stupid enough to use my regular social networking nickname for the new one, so if she thinks about it enough she can find it. But, she can search for me by name anyway (if she creates a new account, her existing 3 that I know of are all blocked) so what difference does it make now? I was going to change my name and just start going by a pseudonym, but since it’s already taken about a month for only half my friends to add the new account, by the time the rest add the new one will it even matter if I change the name? Considering she goes by at least one other alias, I don’t doubt her ability to create yet another social networking account to use to follow me. Yeah, everything is friends only now that can be friends only, but I have friends on here that I don’t know in real life, so don’t doubt my ability to befriend someone that could turn out to just be her anyway… I have friends I made on one social network that I’ve ended up adding as a friend on other social networks… and how can I go about life not making any new friends? The thought makes me anxious but I can’t dwell on it.

Way back when I’d first met Mandie, she had told me “whatever you do, don’t ask the teacher about me.” The teacher was another friend I met on the same site who had posted a comment on our profile at some point, something that made it obvious we were friends. Well, what do people do when told not to do something? They do whatever they were told not to do. So I asked the teacher, and the teacher told me that within a week Mandie acted like she was in love with her, and they kept trying to make plans but Mandie wasn’t understanding of her schedule, then when they finally had plans she waited all day to hear from Mandie to confirm and never heard anything, by the time she heard from Mandie it was too late for her to go out, and Mandie flipped on her. She was smart enough to cut Mandie out of her life then. I listened to her warning but thought maybe it was just a one time random occurrence. I kept talking to Mandie, and the teacher in turn stopped talking to me. She didn’t go out of her way to avoid me, but didn’t want to be found by Mandie. When I finally put all the pieces together about Mandie, I went to the teacher. It turns out that, under her new profile, Mandie had started talking to the teacher again, and the teacher was of course grateful for my information. This concerns me that, even after a few years, Mandie wouldn’t hesitate to seek me out again under a new pseudonym.

Have I mentioned on here that, way back in the beginning, Mandie had bragged about putting girls in the hospital in fights and waking up not remembering doing it? When I later asked her about this she claimed she had no idea what I was talking about. I don’t know what to believe, but I have to proceed with caution.

I’m really quite devastated that all this has happened. Sure, we’d drifted apart… but I was the one who re-initiated contact this last time because I really wanted to be friends with her. I didn’t want it to turn out this way again. I feel like I’ve lost a best friend. I could choose to continue being friends with her, knowing what I know, but why would any sane person do that to themselves? That’s just asking for trouble. She’s attempted to contact me since… I still haven’t had the strength to tell her the truth about what’s going on. She probably assumes I’m being bipolar and distancing myself. She has no idea… that I found out about Ashley Winters and put all the pieces together. I don’t want to start anything. I just want it to fade away. I told her that I deleted my Facebook because Dave thought I was addicted to it and I wanted to prove him wrong. It turns out that, even with a new Facebook, I hardly get on it now anyway. I’m scared to! If I “like” or “share” anything it could get traced back to me. If I comment on a friend’s photo or status it could eventually get traced back to my new account. If anyone ever tags me in a post or photo, same thing. So right now I’m only using it as a messenger… and I’ve linked a few games & apps to it. I post a status here or there but I don’t even bother looking at my news feed, it’d be too tempting.

So that’s about it for that… I’ll have a post coming up about things going on with my marriage…

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