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Fight Withdrawal…

So, when me and Dave don’t have an argument for a while, one or both of us ends up going into some sort of withdrawal, which has been named Fight Withdrawal Syndrome, FWS. So, I’ve been sensing for several weeks that he’s been in need of an argument, but I’ve been putting it off. I didn’t feel like arguing, even though I knew it’s what makes us really happy, for some twisted reason. Well, we had that argument last night, finally. It’s funny how much better *I* feel after having the argument… After we were done last night, I just felt like crying, but I didn’t want to be disturbed, I didn’t want to disturb Dave or have him come and check on me, I just wanted to cry. Not because he’d upset me, but because I also needed to get a good cry out of my system. But, I’m not entirely sure it did me good, because I had to work so hard to be quiet enough to not disturb him. I do feel better now, though… I just feel tired.

I want to share with you all the reason I give for why me and Dave need to argue…

Excerpt from The Secret Language of Relationships by Gary Goldschneider & Joost Elffers Combination of April 25 – May 2 with November 3 – 11 Heading: Take No Prisoners The challenge of this relationship will be to preserve a balance of power. Both partners consider themselves authorities on a variety of subjects, and may be extremely intolerant of other points of view. When they agree, their friends and family may face a solid wall of opposition or authority. When they disagree, the relationship can be rocked by the sounds of battle. “Take no prisoners” and “Give no quarter” are commands not conducive to harmony and tranquility, but these two are each other’s equals, and they may need confrontations like these to satisfy their need for combat, sharpen their argumentative skills and provide them with opportunities for the thrill of victory. Strife may be satisfying here, in other words, until the relationship acknowledges a greater kick: the substantial results that accrue from mutual cooperation and understanding. Marriages in this combination are likely to have rather a heavy feel, but can be long-lasting, not to mention long-suffering. Successful in many respects, including financially and career-wise, they will feature day-to-day interactions in which wrestling for the reigns of power, particularly in struggles over money, is never far away. Passions run high: joy, satisfaction, excitement, pain, suffering, depression. No matter what the partners’ emotional or psychological state, they will inevitably return to the desire to acquire individual control and the need to give it up, whether through force or reason. Balance may eventually be achieved here, then, if only because of an inevitable averaging out of individual wins and losses, or, more positively, because of a realization that balance is essential for the relationship’s health. The deep friendships that are possible here can be especially effective in promoting sports, family or social activities. They may become a bulwark of organizational dependability for a club or team, whether in fund raising, getting picnics or parties together, or seeing to ordinary day-to-day problems. Familial relationships, on the other hand, particularly between siblings, are likely to be rocky. Particularly deadly may be struggles between two brothers or two sisters, where age differences will set up patterns of coercion and rebellion that may only be resolved later in life, if at all. Advice: Pull together for the common good. Try to minimize ego and power struggles. Lighten up and have fun. Acting silly isn’t shameful. Let things happen.

I am somewhat into astrology, and this really does describe how me and Dave interact, and how we survive. We’re in a constant power struggle, both refusing to give up because we have some twisted need for the fight, and if we put it off, it becomes a huge blow-out… like last night.

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