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Family Tragedy: Update 1

I just wanted to post an update on things here in Illinois… I’m not sure how many updates there may be, but since this is the first update since the original post, it’s Update 1.

Friday we had a meeting with Scott’s attorney. He’s a jerk, let’s just put it that brief. It seems his only interest in this case is his own checkbook. We’re going to be consulting other attorneys for better representation.

More on that: Dave’s Aunt Sheri passed away not too long ago from Breast Cancer. She had one son, Bradley (BJ), who is disabled and lives in a home for people with similar disabilities. When Sheri passed, the responsibilities of BJ passed to Scott. That’s one of the things that has always stressed him out the most. Along with BJ comes a Trust document, and the decisions need to be made on how much money gets disbursed and what frequency. Another part of what comes with BJ is the responsibility of regular visitation by a family member, previously Scott. When Scott was first given this responsibility, he named Dave as his successor for handling the Trust (and other included responsibilities). At the time, he probably thought that by the time he passed away, it wouldn’t be an issue for us. Well, then he went and did this, so now Dave has to decide who to pass the Trust, etc. to. If he chooses any family member, there is a GREAT chance of hostility towards us over the decision. We will be calling the home to find out who they think would be the best person to take on the responsibility, and either give it to that person, or just give it to the state and let it go from there. Fortunately, Dave does not, by law, have to accept this responsibility, and we are going to try and wash our hands of it as soon as possible.

Well, the BJ issue was covered for most of our 30 minute meeting with the attorney. He glanced at Scott’s Will for all of 10 seconds, said Dave’s the executor, and spent the rest of the time discussing BJ. Well, I take that back… he also tried to tell us they will be selling the ENTIRE ESTATE. Umm, that’s not what we want. We’re going to try to arrange things so Kathie can keep the house, without hurting us financially, and just try to be fair to EVERYONE in this situation. Nobody asked for this, so nobody should be any more hurt by it than they already are. There’s no reason to auction off all the belongings from that house, some of which are from Dave and Tom’s childhood. And, if Kathie wants to continue to live in the house that Scott wanted for her from the beginning of their marriage, then she has that right, as long as it doesn’t hurt us in any way. If we just have to sell it to her, or whatever we can do to arrange that.

As for the rest of the Will, we don’t know what all is contained in it. We have heard some things, from Scott’s friends, but we don’t know what was put in the Will. The Will had not been updated since the marriage to Kathie, and apparently there’s some laws that will allow Kathie to have certain things… I’m not sure what. We’re not all too concerned about that, because we can, hopefully, settle things between us fairly, outside of court, and to the best interest of EVERYONE. We have been told that EVERYTHING was left to me and Dave, including the Corvette. Well, we can only do what won’t hurt us, financially. If the Vette isn’t paid in full, which it probably isn’t, we may not be able to keep it. The house is definitely not paid in full, he hasn’t been living there that long… so, we need to arrange things with that so either Kathie gets it, or we have a chance to get what we want before it gets sold.

What’s today? Saturday? I guess so…

Okay, last night I was out on Ronda’s porch having a cigarette when Brenda got home. Ronda is Dave’s mom, and Brenda is her sister. Dave has always warned me of how much of a bitch Brenda is, so I should have expected what was to come. Brenda was in a bad mood when she got home, and apparently said some hateful things to Ronda. I know that much, because Ronda was crying, and I was holding her for a while to give her comfort. She had spent about an hour or so taking things downstairs so she could get ready for work in the morning, but whatever Brenda said lead to her bringing all her stuff back upstairs. So, it had to have been bad, regardless of the tears. When Brenda has first walked in the door last night, she was pretty hateful to me, but I didn’t think too much of it. This morning, when I was out in the porch again, Brenda got very nasty to me. I went back into the bedroom and laid down, to avoid dealing with it. She came in and gently nudged me, saying my name softly. I honestly thought she was going to apologize. Well, as soon as I rolled over to face her, she was in my face, finger pointing at me, yelling at me and cussing me out. She said a LOT of hateful things, that weren’t based on any kind of fact, to say the least. She said I’m lazy, I haven’t done anything since I’ve been here, and I should be standing by my husband right now, and should have been all these years. All of that is a crock of shit. Speaking of shit, at the time Dave was in the bathroom, does she expect me to stand by him and hold his hand while he goes poo? I don’t think so! Does she think I should surgically attach myself to his side? He wouldn’t like that any more than I would. I have been there for him all these years, through EVERYTHING, and she has NO right to say something like that. And I have done things to help out since we’ve been here. I drove the entire 16 hours here, so Dave didn’t have to. I bought pizza for everyone last night, and I held Ronda while she cried over what Brenda had said to her! That’s just to name a few things.

Well, as soon as Dave knew she was out of the room, so as not to look too obvious, he came in and laid by me, held me, comforted me, calmed me down, reassured me of things, and then took me away from this place for a while. Since we’ve been back at the house, Brenda has been constantly slamming doors for no reason, cussing out people she was on the phone with, and more and more. We’ve just been avoiding her. But, she has NO RIGHT to be disrespectful to Ronda’s house, or anyone a guest in it!

Dave and I are considering taking Tom (his brother) back to Chicago tonight, staying the night there, and heading home in the morning. Originally, we were going to take him back, spend a few hours with him at his place, then come back to Ronda’s for another day or so. Well, now we just want to get home as soon as we can, because nobody should be rude or disrespectful like that to us, with everything we’re already going through.

So, I think that’s about everything from my last entry to now… I can’t wait to be home.

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