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I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this bullshit. And yet, I have NO escape, whatsoever.

He’s trying to control me by dangling the divorce thing in front of me. As in, any time he doesn’t get his way, he pitches a hissy-fit and threatens divorce.

Now it’s because I don’t have any desire whatsoever to listen to him talking to or about women he’s slept with or tried to sleep with outside the marriage, particularly ones he met during the open marriage phase.

The fact that I ask him to respect my feelings, since I got hurt big time from all that shit, means I’m trying to control him? Umm, no, I’m just asking that you respect my feelings because I got seriously hurt and it hurts every time I have to listen to you talking about other women. Which is daily.

I wish I could just get out of here. I still don’t have a job outside the home, and no money. I have no way to provide for me and Casey. Plus, if we get divorced in the next 4 years, I lose my health insurance too.

I have an appointment on the 26th to start therapy. I can’t wait! I need it!

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